By Gregory J Meyer
August 12, 2016
“You will need help,” she told them, “but all I am allowed to give you is a little talisman… Meg, I give you your faults.”
“My faults!” Meg cried.
“Your faults.”
“But I’m always trying to get rid of my faults!”
“Yes,” Mr.s Whatsit said. “However, I think you’ll find they’ll come in very handy on Camazotz.”
-Madeleine L’Engle (A Wrinkle in Time, 1962)
I think it’s a safe assumption to say that every single one of us have our fair share of flaws. Even if the most beautiful person stood in front of a mirror, I bet they could easily name a few things that they didn’t like about themselves. When I look in the mirror, I see where my beard doesn’t grow in on my chin, or the scar by my left eye I received from a fall when I was four.
Then there are the internal flaws and faults we have that can’t be seen in a mirror but are apparent to us every day. These are the things that we try to hide so others can’t see them because they make us look bad. Perhaps these are the anger issues we have, the bad words we say when things don’t go our way. There’s the crippling self-doubt when speaking in front of people, or the nervous vocal tick that rears its head when we least want it to.
For me, something I’ve struggled with is my ADD. I’ve struggled with concentration my whole life, daydreaming in school and getting scolded for it. After all, why should I work on this math homework when I can stare at the designs on this table I haven’t noticed before? Every task takes ten times as long to complete because I’m always in my head.
Oh, the words I’ve heard over the years! There was the frustrated man in my line while I was a cashier that told me that once I made it to the real world my employers wouldn’t put up with my slowness. Then there was the friend who told me he didn’t believe in ADD, and that it was all in my head because “we all struggle with paying attention.” It’s comments like this that’s made me hesitate before telling people I struggle with my ADD.
In February of this year, I, along with 250 other individuals, found that my employer had eliminated my position and I was let go. I know it wasn’t because of anything I did at my job, but simply due to economic reasons. However, I still struggle with blaming myself and my short attention span. I’ve been searching for a job since then, and the whole ordeal has been one frustrating moment after another, and all due to my struggle with ADD. I’ve been told in interviews that I wouldn’t be able to manage being there because of my work style. There are times when it takes everything within me not to shout at the heavens to ask God why I’m so defective.
Yet there is a beauty in flaws – that cannot be denied. After all, a block of stone must be defaced and ruined so that it can turn into a work of art. What I’ve come to accept about myself is that I can see things in the world and people that others can’t see.
There’s that ruined cottage down the road you pass by on the way to work. Most people see it as a blight to community and a necessity to be torn down. I, instead, see how nature is slowly reclaiming the work of man. I envision a story for the house as a place once called home, and the people who once lived there. I imagine the things it must’ve seen, the birthdays, the Christmases, the heartache, and the sadness. There’s a story there, and I can bring it to life.
There’s the elderly woman I passed by in Ljubljana, Slovenia, while walking the streets with my wife, who had us take a picture of her and her dog as she made her way through the city. Most people wouldn’t have given her a second thought, but I imagine all the things she must’ve seen in her lifetime and the people she’s met. Perhaps she isn’t lonely or sad, but I can imagine all these things about her.
While my wife and I were in Slovenia, we visited an artist’s retreat that was previously an old army barracks. Before, this was a symbol of Communist oppression for the people there. After the army left, the artists took over and began to shape it into something else. Buildings became murals of creativity as artists spray-painted these fantastical works of art onto these dilapidated walls. Sculptures and metal works made from junk line the whole area, making it truly a sight to be seen. I’m sure there were many people who wanted these buildings torn down so they could forget the pain brought by those inside, but instead ingenious artists shaped this place into a testament to the creativity that God has given us.
The world passes by these people and places without thought or care, but I’m enamored with these ruined and desolate places. Likewise, I’m a man with flaws and ugly spots. Yet, I can take the things that I’m uncomfortable with about myself and shape them into something beautiful to share with the world. My goal is to one day reach out to others like me, and encourage them to find the beauty in the things the world finds as flaws.
Right now, Pokemon GO is the hottest trend on the Internet; you can’t go anywhere without hearing about it. What’s interesting is that the creator of Pokemon, Satoshi Tajiri, was born with autism. As a child, he was obsessed with things like bug collecting and arcade games. Most people probably would view these interests as little more than distracting hobbies, but not Satoshi. Instead, he took these hobbies and created a phenomenon that’s been going strong for twenty years now. Can you think of many games or pop culture icons that have stuck around as long as Pokemon and remained as popular? Not many!
So while I still struggle with my own personal insecurities, they don’t hold me back as a person. God has constantly shown me ways to use my childhood problems and make them into something new and beautiful to share with others. You can, too, and don’t let the world tell you otherwise.
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