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Assistant 2.2 – The Forgotten Girl

The smell hit him. Death. Two days of decay. Bron was digging now in an area that might have been a kitchen–the remains of a table on one side, smashed dishes, on the other side a potbelly stove tilted against the half-standing inner wall. Rotting eggs and insect-gnawed bread in the rubble. Breakfast? Preparations for a lunch basket?

Two bodies, a man and a woman. They were about his age or a few years older, and they were wrapped in each other’s arms, faces turned into each other’s necks. They had clung together when the shaking had begun, only to be crushed by a beam falling from the roof, landing across them both in the same instant. They had died together.

Bron couldn’t lift the beam, not with his hands alone. He dug out around them enough to determine that no one else lay with them in the debris. Perhaps they had been cooking together. Perhaps they had been enjoying their early morning meal before each began the work of the day. Perhaps they had been talking, smiling, love in their eyes as they looked at each other.

He paused, folding his hands into fists, and waited till the shaking passed over once again.

“Nyasha! Nyasha!” His throat was raw, his nerves ragged, every muscle aflame. His hands were sore and scratched, his arms quivering. And still there was the girl to find, the girl the entire town had forgotten.

Bron paused again, tilting his head. Was that a voice? Perhaps it had been the wind, or a cat, mewling across the street.

“Here,” it came again, soft and low and battered. “I’m here.”

“Nyasha?”

“Yes. I’m here.”

Her voice was weak, cracked, and barely audible, but he heard it. Bron’s body didn’t stop aching, and his bleeding hands didn’t stop burning, but they didn’t matter. He had to get her out. That was all.

Nyasha’s voice came from further back in the house, perhaps a bedroom area. The inner walls had held up better than the outer ones, for whatever reason, and Bron could see places where the walls and the roof leaned against each other, forming spaces underneath that would be almost sheltered, almost safe. He would have to be careful not to dislodge anything important.

“Keep talking to me,” he ordered. “I need to hear your voice so I know where to dig.”

“I’m here,” she said. “I was leaving my room when the blast came. I was in the doorframe between my room and the hallway. I think that’s what saved me. I’ve been trapped here for two days. There’s just a crack, and I couldn’t open it, but I saw the sun go down and come up again and go down and come up. I thought I would die here. Who are you? Why are you here? I don’t know your voice.”

He dug through shingles and latticework from the fallen roof, making a path toward her. “My name is Bron. I came from Jalseion seeking help at the Sanctuary. Dr. Burdock told me where to find you. Keep talking, Nyasha.”

“Dr. Burdock? I’m surprised he even remembered my name. He’s a good enough doctor, but sort of wibbly, you know? Like a catkin, all soft and fluffy, with his chubby face and his fuzzy beard and his spectacles. The children like him, though, the little children who come to the clinic. I think they like him because he looks at them, not through them….”

Her voice might have been fading, but he was pressing closer, and so he didn’t lose her. “All right, Nyasha, I’m almost there. Can you push against the stuff around you, to show me where you are? Be careful.”

The pile of wattle and plaster in front of him shifted, bulging out almost from the center. Bron managed a smile, tired and relieved. “There you are. I’ve found you, Nyasha.”

He reached into the ruin and drew her out like birthing a farm animal, weak and shaky and blinking in the sun. Her dark brown skin was almost white with plaster dust, and her large brown eyes darted this way and that, trying to take it in. She was even younger than he’d expected, perhaps two years younger than Calea had been when she’d become a Guide.

“Can you walk?” He kept his arm around her, feeling her tremble.

Nyasha nodded, more absently than purposefully. “My goodness, it sure is a beautiful morning, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Bron said solemnly.

“I never really noticed how nice the mountains look before.”

He looked with her, north, to the mountain range that separated Jalseion from Thyrion. The peaks had once been green and mist-covered, or so legend said, but since the world had become desert, people called them the Burnt Mountains. They were orange and dark yellow and reddish-brown in the morning light. And yes, certainly beautiful, though Bron had never thought to call them so anymore than Nyasha had. He and Calea would have to travel over or around them to get to Thyrion, and they were therefore a barrier, an obstacle.

“Yes, they look very nice,” he said. “Come now, let’s get you back to the clinic. You need to rest and eat.”

“And drink. I’m very thirsty.” Her cracked lips curved in a smile.

“That too.”

She almost tripped over her own feet, her long skirt, as he led her out of the ruin of her home. But the path he’d made through the rubble went back to the kitchen area, and there Nyasha ground to a halt, staring. The bodies of her parents. Bron winced and looked away, sorry he’d forgotten.

Nyasha said nothing. Did nothing. She just stood there and stared for a moment that could have been an hour.

Then he gently tugged her into a walk again. He took her out of the ruin and back to Calea and the doctor.

 

Assistant 2.1 – The Forgotten Girl

Bron walked through the small town of Averieom, head swiveling this way and that as he took it in. He’d never been outside Jalseion before, not even to this village just beyond the great city’s sphere of direct control. An hour and a half away by automobile, a full day on foot. Not far at all. Yet it might as well have been another world.

Most noticeable to him was the lack of visible damage. No marks of explosions, of shattered vehicles and obliterated generators and devices. A few of the houses seemed to rest a bit crookedly, shingles loose, shutters off one hinge. As if they were toys taken up by a gigantic toddler and shaken violently, then set down again. But the buildings here were constructed low to the ground, most only one story, none higher than three. No tall buildings like in Jalseion to be tilted and wrecked and ruined by the shrugging of the earth.

The Medical Sanctuary was on the edge of Averieom nearest Jalseion. He and Calea had gone straight there, passing only a few holdings on the outskirts. Now, as Bron moved toward the center of Averieom, he got a better feeling for the town. It was a lovely little village, he was beginning to think. A soft, safe place to live and work and raise a family. Dr. Burdock’s fear of imminent violence seemed almost laughable in the midst of such peace.

Then Bron turned onto Capital Street, and the young doctor’s anxiety began to make more sense. Small huddles of people gathered here and there, tense, wide-eyed, afraid. Bron avoided them instinctively, moving slowly and steadily, like a child treading softfoot to prevent waking an adult in drunken slumber.

He passed a grocery with every window broken in. The shelves inside were all but bare, and the owner stood amongst the desolation, leaning on a broom, her face curiously blank and contemplative. The butchery was the same, and the bakery. Other less essential stores were spared: bookstore, cobbler, milliner. The import shop, where they had sold technology from Jalseion, had been put to the torch.

When he passed the shoe shop, Bron glanced at his feet. Worn, comfortable boots looked back at him, ones that hadn’t belonged to him a day ago. On their way out of Jalseion, he had stopped just long enough to rob the dead to replace his and Calea’s blood-soaked clothing, his ruined footwear. He did not feel guilty about this. The needs of the living outweighed the claims of the dead. These were good boots and would last him a long time.

Nor had Calea seemed disturbed by the theft. That bothered him a bit more. It was another thing he had failed to protect her from, this breaking of custom and law and traditional respect for corpses. Calea had never much been one for respect, though, so perhaps it was not surprising.

His feet still hurt. They would heal.

In the center of Averieom was the town’s Well, now drained dry and abandoned. A small, shallow thing–Dr. Burdock had aptly described it as a pond. A twisted shell of a building crouched on the bank, blown apart by an explosion. No doubt it had housed the town’s generator, run by Averieom’s small contingent of Select. A distant part of Bron hoped that no one had been hurt in the blast, and another part of him knew that that was unlikely. Generators needed to be manned every hour of the day to keep the flow of power steady. But he saw no bodies, no blood. Another welcome change from Jalseion.

A few more turns, a short stop to ask directions of a weary-looking woman in a garden, and he found the street he was seeking. This area was almost exactly on the opposite side of Averieom from the Medical Sanctuary, and Hillock Street was closer to the edge of town than the middle. The houses here were shabby. Not a run-down sort of shabby, either–these houses had not once been fine, but now fallen into disrepair. They had never been fine. They had been built shabby.

It was not unlike The Grunt where Bron had been born and, until very recently, had lived.

He didn’t know what to expect at the Cormorin house. Dr. Burdock seemed convinced that the girl and her family had fled. “Back to Thyrion whence they came, perhaps,” he’d said with a wry twist of his lips, strange on his owlish face. Perhaps the house would be empty. Perhaps the inhabitants would be shut up inside, paralyzed with fear.

What Bron did not expect was a house crumbled and collapsed, folded inward on itself almost delicately, almost beautifully. A house of cards fallen at a heavy breath. Bron stopped for half a step. He looked around the street and saw and heard no one, no faces, no voices, no neighbors to offer help or explain to him why nothing had been done about this in the last two days. He double-checked the name on the painted sign near the street in front of the house, confirming that this was, indeed, the Cormorin home.

Then he went to the rubble and began to dig and to call. “Nyasha! Nyasha Cormorin!”

Muscles in his shoulders and across his back burned and ached as he dragged at rotten beams, boards with faded blue paint chipped and peeling, chunks of wattle and crumbling plaster. In the past two days, he had climbed ropes, lowered himself down sheer steps, and crossed deconstructed landscapes of broken buildings and bleeding people. He had pushed past many distressed citizens begging for help to rescue wives, husbands, children, neighbors, and he had ignored them all in his singular quest to reach Calea Lisan.

The collapse of this house must have happened at the very moment of the disaster, and Dr. Burdock was wrong. The Cormorins hadn’t left. They were buried. This time, he would not pass on. This time, he would not shut his eyes to a family in danger. He would find the girl he was seeking, dead or alive.

“Nyasha Cormorin! Nyasha!”

He didn’t know her parents’ names. He hadn’t thought to ask. He didn’t know if she had any siblings, any other family. It didn’t matter. He would dig them out.

Assistant 1.2 – The Last Doctor

Dr. Burdock rounded a corner and found them standing just inside the back entrance, leaning on the wall. A man in his forties, looking near dead from exhaustion, and in his arms was a young woman. One of her arms was hooked around his neck, holding herself up, and the other arm…

The other arm was missing. As well as the opposite leg. Dr. Burdock blinked and, after that glance, returned his gaze to her face. Crippled patients did not like overlong attention given to their deformities.

Her face was sharp, grim, and pale with emotion. Her fist was knotted, her lips thin. “Put me down, Bron,” she said, words ground out like stones rubbing against each other. “I didn’t want you to carry me, and you’ve defied me long enough.”

“Not until the good doctor tells me where to put you,” he replied, unbothered by her cold anger. It was as if this was the normal state of affairs between them.

“I…” Dr. Burdock blinked again, then finally swept a hand toward an exam room. “Please, in here.”

Bron moved inside and set Calea Lisan on the wooden table, then stood beside her, almost at attention, though he did not have the bearing of a military man. Guide Lisan pressed her fist against the table she sat on, holding herself rigidly still. They were both keeping themselves upright by will alone, he could see that at a glance. They must have traveled through the night to get here.

Dr. Burdock moved to the cabinet against the opposite wall, ready to fetch whatever supplies were necessary. “What can I do for you, Guide Lisan? What are your injuries?”

“Calea will do,” she said, lips twisting bitterly. “There is nothing left of Jalseion worth Guiding. As for my injuries, are they not obvious? It would be just my luck to find myself, against my will, in the care of yet another man too stupid to see what’s in front of his face.”

He turned toward her, careful to keep his face still. He must be professional. She is Select. She has had the same horrible shock as me. “Please show me, Calea.”

Bron opened his mouth to speak, but she held up her hand, forestalling him. “They’re gone. No need to mention it. I mean this, of course,” she said to Dr. Burdock, with a thick hiss of air, and gestured sharply to where her other arm should have been. “I need new prosthetics. Mine were…taken from me.”

“Madam…Calea…this is far outside my expertise. Everyone else has gone to the city to help with the rescue efforts. If you will wait here in Averieom for a few days, the other doctors will eventually return, and Dr. Randle…”

“That’s not good enough.” The words were rapped out, abrupt. Calea paused and took a breath. “They need not be perfect. Once we get where we are going and I have magic available to me again, I will re-create my old ones.”

“Calea, the magic is gone.” He turned a sob into a laugh. “The Well here in Averieom…more of a pond, it was, really…it’s drained….”

Shock flashed on her face. He kept going, unable to stop. She understood; she had to understand. No one else did.

“I felt it. Didn’t you feel it? The wells are empty. The magic is gone. Not that I was ever any great shakes at magic, poor little Eman, washed out of the Academy, almost bottomed out the Falsan scale, but I could feel it. I could touch it. I could change the temperature of objects at will…. Such a useful skill, wouldn’t you agree? If you ever needed a hot flannel, or a cold one, Eman Burdock was your man. So, I became a doctor. But I felt it. I felt the virtue go out of the world. The wells are empty. We are cold and alone and barren once more….”

Pain flared across his face. Someone had slapped him. Startled, Eman opened his eyes and looked up. Bron held his shoulders in a firm, painful grip, staring steadily into his eyes. Telling him to be silent, to stop babbling, to find his courage and be a man.

Behind him, Calea’s white face stood out against the whitewashed wall. She looked about to faint.

Dr. Burdock pulled in a breath. “I’m sorry. Please forgive my disgraceful behavior.”

She nodded, once, and Bron released his shoulders and stood back.

Dr. Burdock raised his hands to his face, pulling himself together. “I’m sorry. I can’t help you. I’m a generalist. I have never fashioned prosthetics.”

“Anything you could do would be helpful,” Bron said.

“I wouldn’t know where to start.” He paced away, waving a hand in the air to show the enormity of the task. “There would have to be measurements, mechanical tooling, a number of fittings. You’d have to stay here for several days while it was all worked out, and I don’t have the supplies to keep you. It’s dangerous here, anyway, perhaps especially for a Select from Jalseion. There is animosity in the people now, against the magic and magic-users who have failed them. And there could be vandals out there, brigands. It’s…”

He stopped. He was babbling again. He turned back to them, raising his chin. “It’s impossible.”

Calea snorted. “Impossible? You said you wouldn’t know where to start, then went on to list several steps. You obviously know something of the process.”

“Calea Lisan is one of the most promising Select of this generation,” Bron said. “She will be needed to figure out what happened and restore things to the way they were. You must help us.”

Dr. Burdock shook his head, even though they were making sense. If there was even a chance that Calea could fix this… Hope flared in his chest, as hard as he tried to shove it down. “Still…it’s too dangerous. The people…”

“I am a bodyguard of some skill,” Bron said. “I will keep you and this building safe until the prosthetics are finished. By then the unrest will have passed.”

That sounded far too optimistic to Dr. Burdock. But he found himself nodding along. “I… Yes, very well. I will do what I can.” This was why he was here, he reminded himself. Bron seemed like a very capable man. And a thin thread inside him latched on to the opportunity to share this empty place. It was too strange, being the only doctor in a campus of buildings that usually hummed with activity.

He turned away, mind running ahead to what he would need. “I’ll need to take measurements….” He sighed. “Too bad that little assistant isn’t here. She used to help Dr. Randle sometimes, but she hasn’t been in since the earthquake.”

“Assistant?” Bron’s hand was on his shoulder again, turning him around. “Who is she? She didn’t go to Jalseion?”

Dr. Burdock shook his head. “I haven’t seen her since… But everything has been disrupted, businesses, homes… I assume she and her family left, or else she surely would have come in. Nyasha loves working here. She’s helped all of us at various times.” He chuckled, hard, and it ripped at his chest. “She’s so young, not even an official student, but you know, she just started coming around here and wouldn’t leave, and eventually we started giving her jobs….”

“She can help,” Calea said. “She knows more than you.”

“On the subject of prosthetics, yes.”

“Tell me where she lives,” Bron asked. No, demanded. “I will fetch her.”

Assistant 1.1 – The Last Doctor

Dr. Eman Burdock was afraid to go out. This was a town fresh from calamity.

Two days ago, in the gray light just after dawn, there had been what felt like an earthquake. The flow of magical power had ceased, causing every light to go out, every mechanical device to stop functioning. Tiny little Averieom, best known for its medical school, its training and research, its nurses and doctors, had panicked. Dr. Burdock had stumbled out of his house into the street, shell-shocked, barely aware of what he was doing, and had run almost straight into a mob.

Most of the people were as shocked and afraid as he was. But a few thought they knew what was going on, and their muttering quickly grew louder until it became shouts and wails. “The Select did this to us!” they cried. “They cut off our power! They’re leaving us in the cold on purpose!”

“Why?” asked someone else in the crowd. It wasn’t Dr. Burdock; he was too dismayed to speak. “Why would they do that?”

“To teach us a lesson. To prove their power over us. Because they felt like it. Who knows? The Select have always looked down on us and treated us like children. This is just more of the same. Down with tyranny! Down with the Select!”

Some in the crowd protested. Most Averieans saw the Select as their benefactors. Technology from trading with Jalseion improved everyone’s lives. The liaison between the Jalseion Academy and the Averieom Medical Sanctuary kept this town relevant in the larger world and much better off than some villages. The flow of magic current from Averieom’s Well, facilitated by the Select, lit the lamps, heated their homes, and powered everything from transports to large manufactories to automated butter churns.

”We have no proof the Select had anything to do with this,” someone said. Dr. Burdock thought he recognized the voice of Lani Alver, the grocer on Capital Street. Count on her to be a voice of reason, he thought, though his shoulders refused to relax. “It could be an attack from Thyrion. It could be that there’s been some terrible accident and power will be restored soon.”

A ripple ran through the crowd, caused by a commotion on the opposite side of the press. Someone new had arrived, rousing the people to new heights of agitation.

“The Well is empty!”

It was a thin cry, completely unrecognizable in distress. Dr. Burdock’s breath stopped in his throat, and he could feel his eyes widening and widening. His knees locked, his hands froze into claws, and goose pimples crept to life across his shoulders, his arms, his neck.

He’d known it. Hadn’t he? He’d felt it, he had. The Well was empty. The magic was gone.

Other voices questioned, demanded proof. Other people could not bring themselves to believe the word of a single witness. Eman Burdock didn’t have to ask. He needed no more proof. He stumbled back until he hit a brick wall, cold and rough through his thin nightshirt, and he stood and he stared, and he knew.

The mob went wild, then. Eman stood against the wall, paralyzed by understanding and fear, as shop windows were smashed, as light poles were dragged down, as people scrambled and screamed and struck out in panic and fury. There should have been sparks when the light poles were pulled down, their wires snapped, but the air remained unshattered. He saw folks run by with burning brands, with goods stolen from Lani Alver’s grocery, from Ib Naro’s butcher shop, from the Busuns’ general store. The cries against the Select multiplied and grew, and voices of reason were drowned out, for this magical disaster must surely have a magical cause, and all must be laid at the feet of those agents of magic.

Eman stood still and made no attempt to stop them. He was a hare, nerveless and crippled under the eye of an eagle. All his tattered mind could manage was to pray, with little hope and less courage, that none of them would remember that he, too, had been Select.

The Well was empty.

He didn’t remember how he made it to the Medical Sanctuary. He was in the street; then he was leaning on the door, locked behind him. The entryway before him was dark, only dimly lit by the newly risen sun, by fire outside the window. He needed to find lamps for the windowless rooms inside the building. Or candles. Did they have any candles? A defunct technology from a forgotten age, only produced now for sentimentality, for cultural rituals and the love of nostalgia.

Instead, he hid in one of the exam rooms and did nothing else till the others arrived. It was a very cold stretch of time. Long, and cold, and empty, and alone.

A few hours later, when the town outside had been silent for some time, other members of the Sanctuary came to the building to regroup. They gathered in the entryway to discuss the situation. “Smoke is rising from Jalseion,” said Dr. Pemry, head of the Sanctuary. “It is our duty to assist our allies.”

Terror filled Eman’s chest, heavy as stones. “What, what about the damage to Averieom?” he forced out. “Surely we also have a duty to our home.”

Dr. Pemry looked at him with heavy eyelids, mouth small and disapproving behind his neatly trimmed beard. “Averieom’s damage is quite superficial.”

“Still, shouldn’t some of us stay here? Needy and injured will come to the Sanctuary for healing, as always.”

Every person in the circle of medical professionals looked to Dr. Pemry, and Eman knew he had made a point.

Their leader offered a slow nod, accepting, and Eman’s head felt like it would float off in relief. “Very well. We shall maintain a presence here, just in case.”

The others began to gather medical supplies, arrange transport, and organize themselves into teams for the search and rescue efforts. Eman helped where he could but never volunteered for a team. By the end of the day, he was the only doctor in Averieom.

Now, on the morning of the second day since the disaster, Dr. Burdock stood at a front window, peeking through the shade. The only time he’d left had been for a quick run, in the dead of night, to his house for food supplies. The running water still worked, so he would not have to worry about that.

What did worry him was outside. That crowd the first dawn had been people he knew. Friends, neighbors, patients. He had seen them looting stores owned by other neighbors, heard them calling death down on a group he belonged to. It had been horrifying to witness.

He knew he should be ashamed of his cowardice, but there was no room in him for shame. He would stay in here until it was safe. Until he could be sure that anger and panic no longer ruled his fellow citizens. If anyone was hurt and needed his help, they could come and he would do his best. But he would not put himself in danger.

In the past two days he had patched up various cuts and gashes, burns, and a broken limb or two, and heard a lot of gossip. The mood of the town was unsettled and confused. People were still afraid. That meant they could still turn on him.

A sudden thump and thud in the back of the clinic made Dr. Burdock start, nearly banging his head on the window. He whirled around, breath jumping in his throat. Maybe it was just the wind. A child throwing a ball against the wall. Something falling off an exam table.

More muffled noises, and these sounded like voices. Maybe not, then. Dr. Burdock ducked against the wall, hiding from the hallway leading back into the clinic building. More looters, vandals? Thieves looking for drugs and medical supplies? If they didn’t see him, he’d be able to get out….

And go where? He’d already run. This was supposed to be his sanctuary, too.

“Is anyone here?” A rough voice, strained and masculine, but not threatening. “We need medical assistance. I’m sorry to come in the back door, but it was closest to our path and we’ve journeyed far.”

A hand to his chest as if to calm his beating heart, Dr. Burdock moved slowly toward the voice. This was why he’d stayed at the clinic: to help the public in a way that would not endanger himself. He was a doctor. He must be a doctor.

“H…hello?” he called. “Who are you?”

“I am a bodyguard to the Select of Jalseion. I’ve brought Guide Calea Lisan for help.”

 

Previously On…

This is the second book of Bron and Calea.

Previously, in The Select’s Bodyguard, a Cataclysm emptied the city of Jalseion of magic from its central Well, resulting in the Select also losing all magic powers. Bron, bodyguard to Section Guide and Select scientist Calea Lisan, awoke to find his home collapsed on him. His only thought was to rescue his young charge, Calea, from her Tower home in the Wheel at the center of destruction. He crossed the flaming city to get to her.

Meanwhile, Calea, accustomed to magic to power one artificial arm and one artificial leg, was down to two working limbs and had to crawl her way to safety. When Bron found her, Calea insisted they go in search of a battery to power her limbs. Near her labs in the Academy, they discovered intruders attempting to steal Calea’s research and technology. Failing that, the intruders stole Calea’s artificial limbs…right off her body. Bron carried a weak Calea into the empty magic Well in the hopes of finding leftover magic. Though no form of physical magic was found, Calea mysteriously recuperated.

Now, Bron and Calea are on their way to Averieom to seek new limbs for Calea and discover whether magic still exists elsewhere in the world. Also, see the parallel storyline in The Fall of the House of Kyzer.

The Doctor’s Assistant

Book 2 of Bron & Calea

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Written by Laura Fischer Where do you go when there’s nothing left? Bron and Calea are on the road to the only place Calea firmly believes still has magic: the megalopolis of Thyrion. Along the way, though, they need some patching up. In the small town of Averieom, they find assistance—and more than they bargained for. Young Nyasha Cormorin has been assisting doctors in Averieom for years. But after the Cataclysm, she no longer feels any ties to the community, and she’s determined to leave. She’s going where she wants to go, and no one can stop her.

This book is available to read online. Start reading here.

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Previous Books in this series: The Select’s Bodyguard
Publication Info

Word Count: ~26,000 words

Chapters: 11

Serialization start Date: July 15, 2013.

10 – The Sky Is Blue

Blue. I stare into it. It’s deep, and for a long time I need nothing else but to be immersed in color. It is immensely deep, incredibly brilliant, and filled with such a complexity of beauty that I dare not look elsewhere unless I wish to break the spell. It’s the sky. I know it’s the sky, but if it’s the sky, it means I am alive, and I desperately wish to be alive.

It takes courage to look elsewhere, and it takes me a long time to gather it. The world is built of particles and equations; life is easily stripped to the essentials; but in the blue, all that is swept aside into something else, something I can’t quite quantify, something I don’t want to quantify. I don’t want the moment to pass. The past hovers over me, ready to pounce, but if I don’t look…

I turn my head. He is there, next to me. He is dead. That’s my first thought. And my first emotion is relief. It is fleeting, but it’s there. I don’t want to deal with what he means. But the immediate second emotion is guilt. No one should suffer for me. I don’t deserve it.

And then I see his chest rise. He is alive, and that brings different emotions. I let them play out, returning my gaze to the sky. The wonder is gone, but it retains some of its beauty. I let the emotions have their way, unwilling to beat them down as I normally would. That world has passed away. At least for the moment.

I sit up. I am crippled again, incapacitated. Half a woman.

I look up. I can see three of the spokes, each broken along its length. The city is crippled, incapacitated.

Bron stirs. He sees me and sits. I have never seen a look of shock upon his face, but it is there now. Before he bothers me with the question, I assure him: “There’s an explanation.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The Well always gave life. Vegetation grows most verdantly about the wells. Something of that must still remain, some remnant, drifting away.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“There may be another explanation. But there is an explanation. There is always an explanation. You did not save me.”

“I didn’t think I did. I just…don’t believe it.”

I heard what he confessed in the deep dark night. I do not know what to do with it. But he needs me. It is cruel to beat him down like this. And it isn’t true. “You brought me here,” I say after a moment. “So, I guess you helped save me, in some way.”

He shrugs. “It’s my job.”

“It was your job.”

He nods. “I’ll return you to the Tower. They’ll need your help.”

The suggestion is hollow. It repels me, and I know that something has changed. “I don’t want to stay here.” The Wheel is broken. Jalseion is maimed. I’m ashamed to appear before them, without magic, without my limbs, like a beggar in a corner. “I want to go to Thyrion.”

There are many objections he could give. They’re occurring to me as I wait for his answer. I don’t care. I don’t want to stay here. There’s nothing for me. In Thyrion, I can find answers. I can find justice. I can find magic. That’s as far as I’m looking.

He finally speaks. “How will you get there?”

“You’ll take me.”

“I can do that.”

He makes to stand, but he does not. “In a bit,” he says. “I think…I think I am very tired.”

I laugh. “I can’t imagine why. Well, rest if you need to, you weak little man. I’m not going anywhere.”

Not without him. For now, at least.

END OF THE SELECT’S BODYGUARD

9.2 – Rock Bottom

Time passes. It is pitch black when my feet cannot find another step. The ground all around is flat. I have reached the bottom. “Calea,” I call softly. I do not know whether she is awake or asleep or unconscious. My back is sticky with blood. “Calea, can you sense any magic?”

She stirs. I sit and untie her, lowering her to the ground. “Calea.”

“Are we there?”

“We’re in the Well. Can you sense anything?”

“It’s gone, it’s all gone.”

“How close do you need to be? There’s surely a little left, somewhere.”

She shakes her head. I catch the movement in the dark like wind upon my skin.

I pick her up and begin to walk. “Tell me if you sense any. Which way should I go?”

“Bron.” She says it three times before I stop. “Bron, it’s no use.”

“There might be some.”

“We both know this ends here. You’ve done enough.”

The words shake me. “Not yet. The steps. They were there for a reason.”

“It had nothing to do with us. Nothing. Set me down.”

I set her on the ground. The stone is as smooth as glass. I sit beside her.

Her breath is ragged. I am empty, unable to feel anything except a deep weight that can’t quite express itself. She tries to speak: “Bron, I…I forgive you.”

The words pierce through the fog of my emotions. She doesn’t understand. She never has, and I have always kept it from her. I mean to keep it from her now, though it pains me. She has done a noble thing in forgiving me, but it is false. She has offered words to me that she would never say in lesser circumstances. I remain silent, wrestling with myself. Should I tell her? I must. I hate the lie, and I do not want her to die with it still left hidden.

“I must tell you something,” I say. I do not know if she is listening. “When I told you that the gate’s failure was my fault, I lied. I was a maintenance man, but the Observation Deck was not assigned to me. I do not do my job out of guilt. I told you that to spare you. I understand now what hurts you most. I did not grasp it at first. It took me a long time to realize how much I hurt you that first night, at the party, when I tried to deflect their insults. But what hurts you is what drives me.

“I might call it pity, but you would misunderstand me. I know you abhor pity more than anything else. But I do not look down on you. I do not consider myself superior. But I do see your weakness, and I want to cover over it. In children’s stories, a dragon can only be injured in the chink in his armor. Pity is that chink, and you hate it. You rage and yell. You make yourself hard and cold. But I want to do what I can to protect you. I need to.

“It’s not about saving you from a knife or a blast of magic. It’s about giving you security, a sense of trust, a person on which to release all your blows. There is no secret motivation. I have no deep psychological guilt. If anything, I have a fault. I want to protect those who most need it. It is an instinct, a belief. Maybe a religion. Who would protect you if not me? Everyone needs someone, Calea. Everyone. I have chosen to be that person, whether you want me or not. Because…I can’t leave you to yourself. Hate me for it if you need to. I will be everything no one else is for you. I wouldn’t change it. I can’t.”

I am exhausted. I have rarely spoken so many words to anyone. I fear I have failed to explain, or perhaps enraged her. She will not allow me to call her weak. She doesn’t understand. Everyone is weak. Everyone.

She says nothing. I hope she has not heard. I have said what I needed to say. If she did not hear, all the better. Her breath is soft, but she lives. For a while, she lives. And I have shown her, the best way I know, what she is worth.

I wait for morning.

I wake suddenly. It is still dark. A hand is around my arm, squeezing gently. The hand contracts again. It is desperate, but it is weak. “Bron?”

I am fully roused.

“Stay with me.” Her voice is a fierce whisper, begging. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to.”

“I’m here.”

She swallows, a drawn-out act. “Look at them. The stars. They’re beautiful. I don’t want to go into darkness.”

I look up. In the depth of the Well, there is no light, and the sky is brilliant with jewels. I have never seen so many. It is almost like looking upon a city from a distance, a city larger than Thyrion, larger than any even in stories.

“What are we?” Calea manages. “So little, so useless.”

I grasp her hand. She needs strength, not words. She will argue words.

She lapses back into silence.

I am out of actions, out of steps, out of time. If I could will her to live, if I could grant her my life, I would. It is an ache in my soul. So little, so useless. The despair in those words move me. I want to lift her to her feet, make her stand–but I can’t.

The steps that led us here were miraculous, but they were false.

The fact is she will be dead by morning. I have done everything possible. There is no regret, no second-guessing. But I still refuse to accept these facts until hope is gone. I refuse to give in. There is nothing left but another miracle.

“Be strong, Calea,” I say. “Stay with me.”

From a distance comes the reply. “I can’t. I’m so afraid. The stars are fading.”

“I’ll be strong for you. Do you understand? I’ll be strong for you. Just hang on. Let me be strong for you.”

“Help me, Bron. Please help me.”

Tears begin to fall down my face. I am willing her to live, physically trembling with a desire to save her which I cannot put into words. I pull her up, into my arms, and hold her tight. She is cold. I want her to feel warmth. I want her to know she is not alone. I want her to hang on, to hold out, until….

“I’m here, Calea. I won’t leave. I’m here. You’ll be all right.” Empty words, but I believe them. I am not deceiving her; if anything, I deceive myself. “It’ll be all right.”

Her body warms as the hours pass. My eyes are heavy, my entire body pulling me down to sleep. She is already asleep, her breathing easy. When she passes, it will be in ease, in a dream. I set her down and lay beside her, almost delirious in my extreme fatigue. I pass into sleep effortlessly.

9.1 – Rock Bottom

After I lock the three soldiers in the storage room, I set Calea down in the lab. She screws her face into some interesting expressions, but she doesn’t complain about the pain. The color has left her lips.

I am restless, bottled, ragged.  I know I have to keep moving. If I stop, fatigue will catch up to me. I try to think. My brain is spinning wildly. I can’t even begin to consider what to do with the soldiers; Calea is my one concern. Thoughts come, but they don’t follow one another. I consider heading back to the Tower. I search the cabinets for something I can use for a descent. I walk down the hall and bring back some day-old cookies someone left in the common room. I make Calea eat one while wondering if I can signal for help somehow.

Of Jalseion’s many specialities, medicine is not one. Magic is difficult to use in a healing capacity. Doctors are normally non-Select. The Academy partners with a special medical school in Averieom, the village nearest Jalseion.

I need tools. The descent is near a mile, if Calea is correct. I have no idea how Architects managed to measure the Well’s depth. I hope they are wrong.

I force myself to take a breath, take stock of my surroundings. As my eyes pass over the desk, I feel a wave of guilt and disgust. I lied to her in this room a week ago. I want to tell her the truth. She has closed her eyes. No–not now. I will save her, somehow.

I am insane. What good will descending do?

It will show her what I am willing to do for her. She needs to understand. I want her to understand. Even if she…

In the back of the room is a steel door, locked and deadbolted. I retrieve the key from its hidden place and throw open the door. I feel the cool air of evening. I am at the edge of the Well. The sun is nearly set. The floor is shadowed and growing darker. I stand on the stone pillar that supports the Academy. A day ago, at its greatest expansion magic rose up almost to the lip, near enough that one could touch if one dared. Now, a sheer descent. I walk the edge; only a small arc of the circumference is accessible from Calea’s lab, but if I am to start, I need to start immediately. I have little enough light as it is. I search for the best path down. I need handholds if I am to have a chance. An incline less than straight down would be helpful.

I stop. I cannot believe what I see. I carefully lower myself down, placing my foot upon the ledge about four feet down. It is solid. It is real. It is a step, almost. And below it, another, hugging the pillar. It is impossible.

I climb back up. I am hopeful, excited, but convinced that something is wrong. It is too good to be true. There must be an explanation. I return to Calea. She is staring blankly at the ceiling. My presence brings her back.

“Have you found the way we’re to die?” she asks.

There is a strange hope rising within me. Her bitterness fans it. “I’ve found stairs.”

“Impossible.”

“There are stairs.”

“It is not possible. What hand would have made them?”

It doesn’t matter to me. All day I have pressed ahead against hope. I will take hope when I can. My mother, she believed in things I was never able to. She would not be surprised by this. I am not sure why I think of her now; whatever hope I have is from her, and whatever kindness. Perhaps in this strange moment, I understand a little of what she felt when she spoke of her beliefs.

“We need to move quickly. The sun is setting. I want to use the light as long as I can.”

There is no sensible way to carry an injured woman down into a gorge, even with the aid of steps. I must carry her on my back. Calea keeps a small drawer with spare clothes in the back room. I cut them into strips and, placing myself as if to allow a child to climb onto my back, I begin to tie her to me. The bonds are tight, causing her to complain. It is all I can think of on such short notice. I heave myself to my feet. Her arm is around my neck again, and her head is over my shoulder. She has grown quiet.

“Ready?” I ask.

There is no answer. I learn the distribution of weight as I walk outside. The bonds seem to want to slip. I reposition some. I have a complicated strand, made of several lengths, that runs around the back of my neck and crosses over my chest and around Calea so that she can place her weight as in a chair. Between that pressure and the crook of her elbow around my neck, I fully expect my head to pop off.

I take a moment to refocus myself. That ridiculous image tells me I am growing fully aware of the situation’s severity. My mind is trying to compensate by making jokes.

I lower myself feet first, crawling down face toward the rock like a toddler practicing on steps. My feet touch the ledge. It is thinner than I remember. My face is pressed against the rock. I search for the next ledge with my feet. It is much closer than the first step down. It is not a steep descent, but it takes caution.

“There is an explanation for this,” Calea says. I do not know if she is speaking to me or to herself. “There have been numerous unscientific attempts to manipulate the columns of the Wheel. We are still unsure how the original Architects managed such a feat. Perhaps they constructed the steps. The great goal of our study has been to move magic, transport it, contain it, multiply it.”

I hardly listen. My world is the rough wall before me, the stone upon my hands, the pressure of my feet. I let her talk. It keeps her occupied and it allows me to focus; it acts as white noise, sharpening my senses. I do not hear the wind or the sounds of the city, whatever they might be.

“Hewren talked of cultivating the Well. He wanted to build passages through it, that we might study it from within. Our strength with magic is proportional to our proximity to a well, with the limit of our reach determined by Tourac’s constant, but we have only guessed at the consequences of being within the source itself. Some thought our power would grow exponentially if we could somehow find a way to enter the magic in some sort of capsule or submerged lab. What feats we might have performed for the world. How we might have changed everything!”

She continues to cite those who might have constructed the steps. I walk upon them, unconcerned with their history. They are smooth, almost slick. Time expands as she talks. Distance expands. One minute passes, and I feel an hour of patient movement completed. Another minute passes. I do not count them. I do not count the steps. The light is fading. It has faded. It is dark. Another minute passes. Another step. I do not look down to see my progress. I do not allow my brain to consider the fire in my muscles. It is best to be a machine, to stifle human weakness, in these cases.

Calea is silent. I do not know when she ceased. I can hear her breath in my ear. It is labored. Her belly is warm against my back. She is bleeding again.

She is no longer half-machine, trying to stifle human weakness. But I do not know if she has the strength to allow herself to be weak.

I dare a look downward. The bottom is hidden in darkness. Perhaps it is close. I do not tell myself that. It is far away, I tell myself. Then I do not look again. I take a step, then another. It is a rhythm held together by will. My legs burn, but I am beyond that.

“We’re almost there, Calea,” I say. “We’ll reach the bottom.”

She does not respond.

8 – Revelations in the Lab

One Week Before

Calea sat at the desk in her lab, welding on a square of outer metal to the damaged shell of her arm. That afternoon, an attempt at compacting magic into one of her thimble-sized batteries had pressed against the limit of her ability. The resulting explosion tore into her arm and singed some of her clothes. She’d been wearing a mask, so she was unhurt except for the cosmetic damage to her upper arm.

She’d found the best way to weld was to use some sort of “lightning rod,” a piece of metal that focused the magic she pulled up from the Well. The thin rod of metal worked wonderfully in directing the fine manipulations of heat. The tighter the flow of magic, the trickier it was to direct accurately, even as its accuracy became essential.

Bron entered just as she finished. He was a few minutes early, which was just on time for him. He kept a squeaky clean record, never a tardy or sick day, never an indiscretion with wine or women after work. Calea had watched carefully for one for the last five years, with no luck.

It didn’t matter now. She’d gotten her way. It had taken persistence and not a little pressure, but it was done as of tonight.

“Thank you for coming, Bron,” she said formally. “This won’t take long.” She handed him a sheet of paper. “I no longer require your services. You’re officially dismissed.”

He started, a rare occurrence. Slowly, he took the sheet and read it over. “Straight from the Overseer.”

“I didn’t want there to be any confusion.”

“May I ask why?”

“Why now or why in general? I think you’re well aware of the second.”

“You think you don’t need me.”

“I know I don’t. A maid can do your work, and for significantly less pay.”

“This isn’t about the money.”

“Of course.” Calea waited. “You can leave now.”

She honestly didn’t know what Bron would do. Would he protest? Probably. Would it come to threats? Sometimes, she thought it might. She believed, though he had never given her indication, that he had a temper below the surface. He was self-righteous enough; would he act on it?

He did nothing for a long time, maybe half a minute. Then he handed back the paper. “I’m…sorry.” He headed for the door.

What did he mean he was sorry? He hadn’t said it in an accusatory manner. He had meant it. He wasn’t going to make this about him.

“What do you mean?” Calea demanded.

“Nothing. Just what I said.”

“What are you sorry for? For being a waste of flesh? For being unable to do the least to actually protect me? For having rocks for brains? You are a brute, single-minded, obsessed with your own ideas of what the world needs. Haven’t five years shown you? Did I take weeks to recover from that abduction attempt? No! You did. If you’re sorry for anything, be sorry you wasted my time.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You still haven’t. Tell me what you meant. I want to hear it. I demand it.”

Bron stood there, his eyes meeting hers darkly. “If I am no longer employed, I will take my leave.”

Calea shot to her feet. “Don’t you dare! You stubborn, horrible, wretched, hurtful man! Who do you think you are? I didn’t ask for you, and yet I’ve spent five years with you at my side, like a dog, a stupid dog that needed more kicks than I gave it. Be relieved you’re leaving me. Be glad. You’re free. Free from my grasping. Free from my complaining, my insults, my weakness. That’s it, isn’t it? You’re sorry I was so weak. You’re sorry you had to put up with me all these years. Tell me.”

She had come around the desk. She was in his face, eye-to-eye, forcing him back, but he refused to move. His face revealed nothing.

“I will tell you,” he said. A small emotion crossed his face. He had made a decision. “Sit, and I will tell you.”

Calea flung herself back into her chair. “Begin.”

“I am more than twenty years older than you. When you were a child, I was a young man. I was employed with the Academy as a maintenance man. It was my job to keep the areas under my supervision clean and in good repair. One of my responsibilities was the Greinham Observation Deck. For some weeks, I was extremely busy in upkeep. Things all go bad at the same time. Then, one day, I heard that the gate at the corner of the Observation Deck had come loose and a girl had fallen into the Well. She lived, but she had been irreversibly injured.”

Calea hardened herself. “And you felt guilty.”

A pause. “Yes.”

“And you thought protecting me would relieve this guilt?”

“Yes.”

“And did it?”

It seemed he was trying to find words. “You are a proud woman. You have accomplished incredible things. The injury did not stop you. You have done remarkably well for yourself.”

“And the guilt?”

“It is what it is.”

Calea stood again, tamping down the raw emotions. “I forgive you, of course. We may part on good terms. You could have been far worse to me than you were.”

Bron nodded. Her words had not exactly been kind, but they were the best she could manage without revealing her emotions. Bron had seen her rage, her sorrow, all her violent lashings, but she refused to let him see it again, at the end. “Good-bye, Bron. Perhaps our paths will cross occasionally.”

“Perhaps.”

After he left, she let the tears loose. A thin film of anger covered them, but mostly it was sorrow for what had been lost. She couldn’t blame him for her accident. She wanted to, but in the middle of the many, many nights, she had faced the loss of her limbs and discovered she had no one to blame. Not herself, not another, just blind chance. The gate had happened to be loose; she had happened to fall against it. Neither she nor Bron factored into it. If not Bron, then another. If not her, then another.

And that is why she cried. For the guilt. She felt it, too, just as he did. Guilt for her own loss. Guilt for the stupidity of the world. Guilt for the things that no one could change. She felt blindly, inexorably responsible for what had happened simply because she lived. Guilt for having existed and for continuing to exist in such a stupid, random world. She had almost forgotten the despair….

The night after the accident, she had been unable to sleep. She was afraid to close her eyes. Whenever she began to drift into sleep, she felt the tug of the magic, and woke with a jolt, a scream in her throat. She looked; she still remained. But if she slept, she would be eaten up. She would vanish like the coins and the ribbon. She would simply…cease.

And a girl who might simply vanish had no business investing in anything but herself.

Bron was the only person she had never been able to scare off, the only one who tried to do something extra for her, for no reason at all.

Well, he had a reason. Everyone had a reason. Maybe everyone’s reason was guilt.

But he was gone. Finally. She took a deep breath. With luck, she’d never see him again.